Anything for Tacos!
by NinjaMuffins
Summary: Gir is left in charge of guarding a secret weapon, but will he succeed? Or will he abandon the mission for the sake of tacos? R&R, please!
1. A Mission For Gir

It was rainy, as it is always rainy when something mysterious or spooky is about to happen. The sun was hidden behind gray clouds, which were leering down on the Earth, waiting for this mysterious and spooky thing to happen already. The wind blew, carrying some leaves along the streets. A cat meowed, and knocked over a trashcan.

"FILTHY EARTH BEAST!"

Thunder rumbled in the distance. A short, black-haired boy with a skin condition thrust his head out the window and screamed at the troublesome cat. "I HOPE YOU ROT!" His violet eyes were brimming with hate. Hate for the cat, hate for the rain, hate for the miserable little planet he was sent to destroy. A few of his neighbors stared at him oddly through their own windows and doors and cardboard boxes. The green-skinned boy gave a nervous chuckle. "I'm normal!" He convinced them, and the humans all silently agreed that he was normal and went back to watching television.

"Stupid humans…." A small green puppy watched as the boy slammed his window shut and drew the blinds.

"Aw, don't be sad master." Said the puppy, his voice high-pitched and metallic. The "master" just clenched his teeth.

"One day, Gir, their disgusting INTESTINES will be property of the Irken Empire. I AM ZIM!" He pumped his fist into the air, and still raising said fist high, he marched to the toilet in his kitchen and flushed himself. Gir followed closely behind.

Zim was standing around some of his high-tech Irken technology, as Gir happily rolled around the floor, wrestling with a squeaky moose. Zim was no longer disguised as a human, and you could see his large, insect red eyes and long, black antennae. He wore a red, stripped uniform as all did other Irkens in his rank. For Zim was a proud Irken Invader, and as far as he was concerned he was even more amazing then his leaders, The Almighty Tallest. Zim pressed a few buttons and flipped some switches, letting his superior Irken intellect devise an amazing plan…. of doom. And Gir…. Well Gir was still rolling around.

"Dodeedodeedo! Dodododeedeedo!" Gir sang, giggling like mad. He smiled at Mr. Moose. "I LOVE YOU!" He screamed, hugging the squeaky toy tightly. "LET'S GET MARRIED!" Love overcame the small robot, and he hugged and hugged and squeezed and squeezed, until-

BLAM!

-until that happened.

"Noooooo!" Gir cried, and in agony he leapt out of his doggie costume and began to run around the making-stuff-room, screaming hysterically. "I'm a widow! I'm a widow!"

He crashed into Zim, who flinched. "Ack! GIR!" He spun around and glared threateningly into his robot's blue eyes. "This is very important, and I need PEACE."

Gir's eyes flashed red, and his voice became more serious. "Yes, sir!" He saluted, just before his eyes flickered blue again. Gir watched as Zim continued working on… his project…. Due to the fact that Mr. Moose wasn't around to play with him now.

Finally, after many long Earth hours, Zim lifted a large, chrome gun into the air and exclaimed, "I AM ZIM!"

Gir blinked. "Ooooh." He marveled. "What is it?"

Zim smiled smugly to himself. "The most amazing gun in the universe! Because it was invented by ME! ZIM! And I'm amazing…." Zim rambled on about his delightful plot involving humans, death, his new gun, and cotton candy. Gir smiled, in his mind he was picturing a fox and a hedgehog, frolicking in a sunny field.

"You can't catch me!" Teased the hedgehog, running around.

"Oh boy! Yes I can!" Replied the fox, who caught up with the hedgehog and began to eat him.

"Ah!" Screamed the hedgehog, trying to break free, but he just couldn't do it.

The little fox had finally finished his meal. He sat beneath a tree, patted his stomach, and fell asleep, while smiling sweetly.

Gir giggled. Zim stared at him, wondering what was going on in that robot head. But he came to the decision that he didn't want to know. "Eh, ANYHOW!" Zim glanced at a nearby clock, and went on. "I have to go to Skool, and I need YOU to watch the new gun for me. DON'T SCREW IT UP!" The alien applied some paste, his contacts and wig, and off he went to the place where a large-headed boy would be waiting for him.

"Hey, space-boy!" Dib smiled manically at Zim, ready to expose him for the horrible scum that he really was. This time he was ready! He had an artificial beaver, and wasn't afraid to use it.

Zim growled at his human rival. But he didn't reply. No, for today was the day he was going to do it. He was going to destroy the Dib once –and-for-all.

Gir picked up Zim's gun and stuck it inside of his body. That was the safest place he could put it, right? Gir didn't see what else he could do in the lab, so he moved himself to the upper floor. Gir got a seat on the couch, got a remote, and turned the television screen on.

A lady with long, black hair and blue eyes was crying in the arms of a large, blonde man. "It's okay, Madeline! I will always love you!" He said, holding her close.

Madeline continued to sob. "But Jack, you don't understand! You can't love me anymore! I shouldn't even be talking to you!" Although she was crying, Madeline's eyes were not puffy, and her mascara did not run.

Jack looked surprised. "Why not? What's wrong, Madeline? You can tell me anything!" Madeline backed away from him, looking behind herself.

"He's here!" She gasped. "I'm so sorry, Jack. But… I've found someone new!"

An obese turkey on a unicycle came wheeling in. "Gobble…" It managed to say.

Jack was stunned. "But that's a turkey!" His eyes began to well up. "How could you break my heart like this, Madeline?"

Madeline threw her arms around the obese turkey. "His name is Kevin, and I, and, and I… I have fallen in love with him!"

Kevin threw up all over Madeline's dress. "Gobble."

"Oh, Kevin! How romantic!" Madeline squealed, throwing up on him.

Jack burst into tears. "Nooooo!"

And cut for a commercial break.

Gir wiped a tear from his eye. "I'll love you, Jack!" He whispered sadly. The robot resumed watching an ad for Diarrhea Reducer when a catchy tune made him smile.

"DO YOU LOVE TACOS?"

"YEAH!" Gir screamed.

"THEN COME GIVE US YOUR MONEY AT THE TACO SHELL!"

"ALRIGHT!" Gir saluted, and the ad was over. "I need tacos!" He drooled, and was in his dog-suit in a heartbeat.

And just as he was leaving, Gir heard the TV say, "I will win Madeline back, no matter how long it takes me. For this Thanksgiving, I will be giving her a surprise!" The voice ended his small speech with an evil cackle.

**End chapter one! Review, please! This is my second fanfic! First Invader Zim fic! And if you're really freaked out by the hedgehog and fox thing, go read my other fanfic, "Tails' Real Past". Thank you!**


	2. You Gonna Pay For That?

Cheerful adults were walking along the streets, just enjoying the fact that their children were at Skool and not bothering them. Hobos were lying around on street corners, and a man with rabies was selling hotdogs at a Deeleeshus Weenie stand. Everything was just so peaceful, Gir thought to himself, as he ran towards the nearest Taco Shell.

Paul was just a regular, greasy-haired teenager that worked for the fast food industry. His school had recently exploded in a freak milkman invasion, so he was stuck taking orders from hungry people who handed him money. Paul was tapping his fingers impatiently on the counter, when he saw a strange green dog walk in. "Hmmph." He muttered.

The green dog approached the counter. "I NEED TACOS!" It screamed. Paul looked down at his short customer, annoyed.

"And what kind of taco did you want, sir?"

"Nyah…." Gir squeezed his eyes shut, trying to decide. "I wanna number 3, and a number 7, and a number 1, and 4, and 8, and 6…." Paul punched in all of the dog's orders into the register. "And a salty lemonade!"

Paul raised a perplexed eyebrow. "Sir…. You just ordered everything on the menu." Gir nodded.

"I sure did!" He squealed proudly.

Well, this was still good. They were going to make a lot of money off of this. "Then that'll be $70.65." Paul informed Gir cheerfully. Gir smiled.

"Okaaaaay!" He reached inside of him to find his wallet. Paul was too busy thinking about his girlfriend from school to notice anything so unusual about it. But when Gir opened his wallet, he found it was empty! "Um…" Gir hesitated. "I ate all my money!"

Paul glared at Gir angrily.

"But…. I gots this thing!" Gir pulled out Zim's gun. Paul stared at it in amazement and awe.

"Wow…." He pointed at the Irken weapon. "We'll trade you that for your tacos."

Gir smiled, pleased with himself for finding such a good bargain. "Okee dokee!"

So eventually Gir got his tacos and left the Taco Shell, passing an old lady on his way out. The old lady smiled at Gir, and then proceeded to look for a seat. She noticed a funny-looking young man with long, buckled boots sitting by himself. "My, you certainly are a WACKY looking one." She commented. This caused the young man to swiftly face her, a crazed look in his eye. He had a shirt with a "Z?" on it, and didn't look so happy.

**Okay, sorry that this was shorter than the last chapter, but I'll try my best to make the next chapter longer. Be sure to review, and check out the following chapters!**


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